I Know How You Feel
by Areka Tyliss
Summary: Roy Mustang's young cousin wants very badly to become a state alchemist, but in order to do so, she must first pass a test involving the Elric brothers and then help them in their quest which may coincide with her own desires...
1. The Meeting

I Know How You Feel

**I Know How You Feel**

**Disclaimer: No Fma is not mine and neither are it's lovely characters, but everybody else is MINE! XD**

**Chapter One The Meeting**

"Please, I must speak with Colonel Roy Mustang!"

"I'm sorry, Miss, but you aren't a part of the military and the Colonel is a busy man so...."

"Please, sir, tell him Lexi wants to speak with him."

"If you insist Miss, but I'm sure he'll decline...."

I sighed impatiently. No way Roy was going to deny this. And actually I was sort of looking forward to going to Central. I hadn't been to a city in a long time and I was anxious to see Roy and perhaps Riza again. Undoubtedly she would still be right beside Roy, it hardly seemed to be possible to think of them as separated.

"Hello, Colonel Roy Mustang speaking."

"Well hi there."

"Lexi? Really?"

I nodded and then felt foolish.

"This better be important because-"

"I want to be a state alchemist."

A pause.

"This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with your recent experience and current obsession with the philosopher's stone, now would it?"

Damn that man was perceptive.

"Of course not Royroy."

I replied sweetly, using my petname for him. I knew he couldn't say no to that. I could almost see him running his hand through his hair in frustration.

"You know I can't say no to that."

I grinned.

"Then why exactly-?"

"I'll see you soon okay? I'm gonna buy tickets on the first train available, I should get there by nightfall."

I hurriedly hung up, feeling only slightly guilty for deceiving him. Although, I wasn't truly deceiving him, since it was obvious he knew exactly what I was up to. No matter, I doubt he will try too hard to stop me. He took everything almost as hard as I did and he was very close with Nickel as well.

I shook my head to clear my unwanted thoughts and put my mind to finish packing.

***********

"Brother are you sure we can do this?"

Edward Elric was busy cracking his knuckles and only spared a glance at his younger brother.

"Listen Al,"

He said through gritted teeth

"Right now I have no idea what I can do about this stupid assessment thing and I can't exactly sit back and wait to be kicked out of the military."

"Yes, but do we have to sneak under the receptionist's desk to get to Colonel Mustang?"

Ed made a face and continued crouching as they snuck by. They straightened as they reached the main hallway and finally, Ed paused in front of a door and knocked briskly. It was opened by Riza Hawkeye who let a hint of a smile cross her face.

"Colonel, you have more visitors, the Elric brothers."

She stepped back to allow them entrance and as soon as they had stepped in, she closed the door behind them before striding quickly across the room to resume her post standing on Roy's left side. Ed took a step forward and encountered something that almost made him stumble.

"Meoooooow."

A very large black cat arched its back and rubbed against Ed's leg. Al nearly swooned. He immediately picked up the cat gently and cradled it against himself, tickling its belly as it batted his hand playfully. Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't know you were into cats."

Roy regarded him with a slight smile.

"Ah Fullmetal. Just the man I wanted to see. How good of you to stop by, but I wonder why the receptionist did not announce your arrival..."

He left the question hanging and Ed blushed slightly and looked away. As he did so, he was alerted to the fact that there was another person with them. A young looking girl, with wild dark red hair and feline green eyes with bits of gold embedded in them. She couldn't be too young, mused Ed, as his glance slipped from her face and saw her....endowments. Ed blushed and stared at the ground. She was very pretty, prettier than Winry even. He clasped his hands he stared at the ground, she raised an eyebrow at him and turned to Roy questioningly. Al had observed the entire exchange and was laughing inwardly at his brother's failure to hide attraction. Roy found the whole situation very funny and a good opportunity to poke fun at Ed.

"So, are you going to be rude and stare at the ground all day or are you going to perhaps introduce yourselves to the pretty girl?"

He asked dryly. Hawkeye covered her mouth to hide the grin that threatened to creep out. Ed looked up quickly, blushing as red as his coat and the girl rolled her eyes in Roy's direction.

"You can ignore this one, he's just out to prove that he wins in the cool category. And he finds it great fun to tease."

She glared at him and he shrugged casually. Ed's mouth almost dropped open. He considered himself and Al pretty close with the Colonel, not by their own doing of course he thought angrily, but even they would never dare to speak to him in such a manner. What was more, he seemed to be perfectly used to it. Looking directly at Al and Ed, Roy stated.

"This is Alexa Mustang. My young cousin."

That explained the familiarity. Ed was at a loss trying to imagine the Colonel having a family. Al put down the cat who roamed off somewhere.

"And we are the Elric brothers. I'm Al and this is my brother, Ed."

Alexa rose in one fluid motion and Ed noticed that she was very very pretty as she walked over. He felt the blood rising in his cheeks again and struggled to maintain a straight face and not gaze below her face. He was glad to finally see a girl with curves because Winry had always looked...like a guy. He almost cringed, thinking of her in that way, but managed to hold himself steady. Alexa looked at his face curiously, trying to discern the strange emotions flitting through his eyes. She mentally shrugged. She held out her hand to him.

"It is nice to meet you, Fullmetal Alchemist."

Ed blinked before taking her hand to shake.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not used to people recognizing me as the Fullmetal Alchemist."

He jerked a thumb in Al's direction.

"They think it's him usually."

"Well, Roy had mentioned you were, ah, not fully grown yet...."

Ed glared fervently at Roy who just smiled evilly.

"Those were not the words I used, Alexa."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE LOOKS LIKE A BEANSPROUT?!!?!?!"

Alexa raised her eyebrows and stepped to the side, looking at Al.

"Is he always this sensitive about it?"

"Yeah, Brother takes it pretty hard."

"Well, it's okay, I'm sure you'll grow or something."

Ed glared at Alexa.

"Yeah, you're on the smaller side, but thats only for now. What are you like 15, 16? You've got a lot of years left to grow."

"Yeah! And hey!"

Ed suddenly noticed. He and Alexa were exactly the same height.

"You're no taller than I am!"

"Good observational skills Fullmetal. Have you been observing her closely?"

Ed immediately shut up and blushed, staring at the ground again. Roy couldn't help it. He chuckled. Ed glared daggers at the Colonel.

"Isn't there a reason you came all the way here?"

Ed straightened and regained his composure.

"Yeah actually. I wanted to ask about my assessment because-"

"Well it was good of you to come because that is tomorrow. And for your assessment you shall have a battle. With Alexa."

Both Alexa and Ed stared incredulously at Roy. Simultaneously, they turned, looked each other up and down, turned back, and said in one voice,

"You're kidding me right?"

Roy laughed again.

"I'd advise both of you to neither underestimate the other, nor overestimate yourselves, as I know you both commonly do."

He flat out grinned at Ed.

"She's a lot like you Fullmetal. You should get along great."

Ed very nearly ran over to the desk to punch the colonel in the face. Just as he was contemplating entertaining ways for the colonel to die, the very large cat jumped onto Roy's lap.

"Woah! Hey!"

The cat was purring loud enough for the entire room to hear. The cat then proceeded to knead Roy's legs, which obviously made him very uncomfortable. Alexa giggled and walked over. Roy looked up at her and remarked

"I am going to kill your cat if he moves one inch to the right."

Alexa bent down and hoisted the cat.

"I'll take him away, don't you worry."

The cat scrambled ungainfully until he was draped around her shoulders. She walked a few steps away.

"Why don't you go off with the Elrics? I need to get some work done, I do have real work to attend to you know, and that way you can get to know each other."

Alexa turned around with both eyebrows raised.

"Roy...."

He just stared back at her. After blinking at each other for several long seconds, Alexa turned to Hawkeye.

"If he doesn't actually have work, Riza, I'll have his head."

Riza gazed back solemnly.

"I assure you, he will get all of the papers looked at that he's been letting pile up."

She glanced down at him and he grimaced. Satisfied, Alexa walked to the door and grabbed the Elric's hands and towed them out. Ed hesitated a moment too long, then pulled his hand away.

"What's the deal? You're not going to argue with it?"

Alexa turned to him.

"He is my guardian currently, so my arguing can only do so much."

"Like he's your dad?"

Al was astonished. Alexa nodded.

"Plus, I am asking him for a favor, if Riza says he has work he definitely does, and I think fighting you would be fun."

She addressed the last bit staring intently at Ed. He blushed slightly and looked away.

"If you think I'm going easy on you because you're a little girl, you're mistaken."

Alexa bristled.

"Who's calling who little?"

Ed glared at her again.

"Not like I have anything to worry about against a girl like you."

"Oh really? I think here, I have the advantage."

"How so?"

Al wasn't about to be left out of the conversation.

"Well, I have heard many a story about the famous Fullmetal, and not only from Roy, so I know a bit about your alchemy and fighting strategy. On the same token, you know close to nothing about me."

She paused and continued in a calmer voice.

"Although that does seem unfair so I'll tell you some things. Let's walk."

They walked out of the hallway.

"For one thing, the favor I am asking is to become a state alchemist."

Ed stared at her.

"You don't want to be a military dog, trust me."

She sighed and looked far into the distance.

"It's purely for researching purposes and I wouldn't do it if it wasn't a last resort."

"What are you researching?"

She glanced at Al.

"My sister is very ill and I want to find a way to heal her and make everything right."

Ed and Al looked at each other. They both looked back at her.

"Anyway, the main thing is that, even though I am more than competent at alchemy, I don't use it to fight. I can perform fire alchemy like my cousin, but I don't."

Ed raised his eyebrows at that.

"I don't really either. But you probably already knew that."

"Yes, I use knives and sometimes very short swords in general. Very rarely do I use alchemy and if I do, it's to weaken a point I'll then hit with a knife."

Ed nodded. This was valuable information and he was grateful she was such a fair competitor.

Alexa added with a grin.

"Also, I don't mind being called short."

Ed punched her gently in the shoulder. Alexa caught his fist and turned it over in her hand. Ed blushed and pulled his hand away.

"What? Never seen automail?"

Alexa shook her head.

"On the contrary. I am very interested in automail. Would you mind if I had a look at yours?"

"Nah, but we should find somewhere quiet where no one will stare."

They found themselves quickly in a small room. Ed opened the curtains and Al shut the door. Ed shed his coat and shirt and sat down heavily on a chair, holding out his arm for her inspection. He had to look away to not be embarassed that she was so closely peering at him.

"This is incredible....very well made."

"You sound like my mechanic."

"She must be very proud of her work."

"how did you know it is a she?"

Al was very curious. Alexa pointed to the bicep.

"My sister and older brother were both mechanics and fanatical about automail. Also, my other sister is an artist and so she's studied a lot of biology to properly represent humans. I've absorbed some information from them by osmosis.

See the way this is designed? It's a slimmer model, not only to keep it light and not strain the user, but also because Ed is smaller than most guys. Sorry,"

she added quickly at his glare.

"So it's not as noticeable, but the way the muscles, ah, the wires are laid and the structure is distinctly feminine. Only to someone who has studied complex anatomy of course, but it is obvious that while your mechanic-"

"Winry"

Al cut in. Alexa nodded and continued.

"While Winry did use your measurements, she actually modeled the arm after her own and then just filled it out to look more like a male's. Clever, she's made it strong, flexible, and quick. There's certainly nothing wrong with it, she just doesn't know much anatomy is all."

Ed whined.

"I have a girl's arm?!?!?"

Al chuckled and Alexa smiled. In revenge, Ed pointed to Alexa's arm.

"What about you? Your arm isn't particularly slender!"

Alexa's face fell and Ed instantly regretted his words.

"Hey I didn't mean-"

"No it's fine. I'm stocky and for some reason my muscles tend to form and grow like a guy's. I supposed I'm not the most feminine."

She gave him a tiny smile and he looked down at her, kneeling next to him, still holding his arm. His gaze slipped a little farther down. Oh you're pretty feminine all right, he thought with a blush. She followed his gaze down and looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. She let go of his arm and rapped him on the head.

"Watch your eyes please."

Ed was very very humiliated and Al was rolling in laughter on the floor with metaphorical tears in his eyes. Alexa stood up and Al rolled over to look at her.

"Hey! You have automail too."

Ed finally looked back at her.

"Really?"

She sighed and sat again. She rolled up a pant leg and showed automail going up above the knee.

"Did you have the whole leg replaced?"

"Yeah. I know you only have it from the knee down but mine goes up to my upper thigh."

"How did it happen?"

Ed's voice had gotten very soft. He saw the pained look on her face and opened his mouth to tell her she didn't need to talk about it if she didn't want to, but she waved him off.

"It was a family accident. I lost my older brother, one of my sisters, my leg, and my remaining sister lost her health."

Ed nodded gravely. Alexa flexed her foot a bit and marveled at her own toes.

"Afterwards, I had to spend awhile taking care of Izzy, my remaining sister, and using old parts and notebooks to reconstruct myself a leg."

Ed looked startled, but it was Al who spoke.

"You made that yourself?"

"Not exactly."

Alexa smiled sadly.

"Nickel, my other sister, we were triplets you see, and I were planning on making me a leg anyway because we were always joking about how reckless I am. So, when we were bored, we'd work on this imaginary leg for me. Lucky me, I just had to follow instructions and do a little improvising."

Ed watched her sadly, but at the same time he had the vague feeling that some of this was not true. The part about deaths and the sadness were obviously genuine, but making a leg for fun? He didn't quite buy that, but he decided it wouldn't be tactful to ask.

Alexa stroked her leg and Nyko came over and sat on her lap, purring loudly and headbutting the leg. Alexa smiled and wrapped her arms around the cat, burying her face in his fur. To lighten the mood, Ed joked.

"How old are you anyway?"

Alexa looked up.

"Seventeen."

Ed's eyebrows shot up.

"She's older than you Brother!"

"Thanks Al..."

Alexa giggled a little and squeezed Nyko again. At her questioning look, Ed responded

"Yeah, I'm sixteen so..."

Alexa grinned widely at him. Ed unconciously smiled back.

"Im hungry!"

Ed announced.

"Let's go get dinner okay?"

Alexa nodded and stood up, handing Nyko off to Al who was completely stoked to be carrying around a cat his brother wasn't trying to take away from him.

"I've always wanted a cat! But Brother never let me keep one."

"We'd only get the cat killed! I don't know how you manage one."

"I have a very special cat."

Alexa commented smugly, but refused to say anything else on the matter. Suddenly, Alexa looked at Al, completely content with playing with Nyko and her face fell slightly. They arrived at a nice restaurant and both she and Ed ordered food, she got extra for Nyko who ate like he hadn't for days and Ed ordered extra....for himself.

As Nyko and Ed were gorging themselves, Alexa sat back and stared guiltily at her plate. Ed looked up.

"Mmumf roosdn?"

"What?"

Al answered for him.

"He asked what was wrong? How come you're not eating your dinner?"

She looked at Al for a long moment.

"You can't eat anything. I feel bad."

Al raised his hands and shook his head.

"Oh no! It's fine really. I've had to deal for six years watching him eat like a pig."

"Hey!"

Ed said, spraying some food onto Al who sighed and wiped it off.

"It's really ok. I keep a list of all the things I'm going to eat as soon as I can."

Al seemed all right, so Alexa dug in because she was truly very hungry. When they had all finished and Al was cradling Nyko, they were walking out the door when Alexa asked

"What's first on your list?"

"Apple pie."

Al said, longingly.

"Here, I have an idea."

She led them through the streets until they arrived at a small bakery. The sun was finishing setting as they walked in. Alexa ordered a slice of apple pie, even though she had eaten a lot at the restaurant and couldn't possibly be hungry anymore. By the time they walked out, it was quite dark. Alexa looked around, then yanked Al into a dark alley lit by one far away street lamp. She gently removed his helmet.

"Forgive me, this will only take a moment."

Nyko twined himself between Ed's legs. He absentmindedly knelt down to pet him. Nyko purred. Alexa pulled a knife out from her belt and cut her hand. She grimaced and bit her lip as she carefully carved the exact drawing of Al's bloodseal into her left palm. Al tried to stop her.

"Hey! What're you-!"

She leaned forward, closed her eyes, and pressed her palm over his bloodseal. Al gasped as a light flashed from her hand and then faded until it glowed a light purple.

"What's going on? Al!"

"Brother! I can feel! Somehow I'm in her! I can touch and smell and feel the air around me!"

Ed stared in amazement. Alexa opened her eyes and carefully reached for the apple pie. She ate the slice very slowly and by the noises he made, Ed could tell Al was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"But how is this possible?"

"I don't know...Brother! Quick! Give me your hand!

Ed stretched out his flesh and blood hand and Alexa grasped it firmly, then released and ran the pads of her fingers over it until it tickled and he pulled away.

"Brother...oh Brother! I can't wait until it is always like this!"

Ed was happy Al was so ecstatic, but he couldn't help also thinking he really liked how it felt to have Alexa's fingers running so gently over his wrist. He pushed the thoughts away quickly and grinned at Al.

"Really soon Al. I promise."

As he was saying that, the light faded from Alexa's hand and she swooned, swaying. Al steadied her and she stood, only to immediately fall into Ed's waiting arms. She threw an arm around his shoulders and rested her head in the crook of his neck as he shifted her weight onto him.

"I'm sorry,"

She mumbled.

"I'm just a little woozy."

"You shouldn't exert yourself like that you know."

Ed reprimanded her gently. He turned his back to her and bent his knees, holding his arms out to her.

"Here get on."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded and she jumped onto his back. He settled her and they began walking.

"I'm really sorry, are you sure I'm not too heavy?"

"Brother just likes to show off how strong he is."

Ed stuck his tongue out at Al and Nyko.

"I've carried around another girl who's much taller than you are. You're not much compared to her."

Alexa sighed and rested her chin softly in Ed's hair.

"So what happened with Al?"

Alexa paused in thought.

"Well, it's a little embarassing, but Roy had told me I was going to get to know you two...so I did a bit of research on Al's...condition. To see if there was any way I could make it up to you guys for having to deal with me."

"We like you Alexa!"

"Aww Al. Thank you. I like you a lot too."

"Where did you do research on soul bonding?"

"Central Library."

Ed tried to look back at her.

"We've searched almost all the relevant sections. Where did _you _look?"

"The Restricted Section, of course."

Ed nearly stopped in his tracks.

"Restricted?!!?! Why didn't anyone tell us about that? What the hell?"

"Brother!"

"It's restricted to anyone below a Colonel's rank..."

Ed swore profusely.

"Roy let you in?"

"No. I snuck in."

Al stared at her and Ed tried to.

"You _snuck in? _Into a restricted military library?"

"Yeah....I'm good at that sort of thing."

Huh. Ed thought. We've got ourselves a sneak.

"What else is in there? And what did it tell you? And again, what did you actually _do?"_

"Okay, for starters, he is bonded with your blood, the best blood for binding purposes because it is very similar to his once was. Now, that seal is very sensitive to blood and while it is your blood only, he is also physically bonded to you, but only very sightly. Because my blood was fresh and my palm was also pressing against it, he was so closely bonded to me that it probably felt like he was inside my skin."

Al nodded in agreement.

"What about equivalent exchange?"

"Well, while you were feeling everything, I could feel nothing. Also, I am now highly exhausted. Not only that, but blood, depending on the amount given, is one of the most powerful things you can exchange because it is essentially your life force. As for what else I was told, it was all things you already know. As for everything else, well, it's restricted for a reason. In my curiousity, I found many books on very frightening things, telling me things I never wanted to know."

Ed and Al both got shivers as she said that.

"The only thing of immediate value that I learned is something very interesting about the Philosopher's Stone."

"Tell me!!!"

Ed had stopped this time.

"Ed, I'll make you a deal."

"What?"

"If you beat me in our fight, I'll tell you."

Ed sighed in frustration. He really would have rather known now, but it was a fair deal to make. He dropped the subject.

"So where're you staying?"

Alexa was startled. She blushed and buried her face in Ed's hair more. He jumped a little as the cold tip of her nose brushed the soft skin at the nape of his neck. He had gooseflesh and was frantically trying to calm his racing heart. He hadn't even ever felt this way for Winry and he'd been determined for years that he would marry her, and now here he was, getting these feelings and having weird thoughts about a girl he just met. A girl related to Mustang even.

"You mean to tell me you have no where to stay?"

Alexa shook her head meekly.

"Well I suppose we'll have to find you a place."

Ed said roughly and Alexa was startled and hurt by his gruff tone. She liked him and his brother, him a little differently than Al, and she didn't understand how in a minute's time he stopped being flirty and playful and went to harsh. She lowered her head, but made sure not to touch him any more than necessary. Al was just as plainly confused by both of their actions, but was sure Alexa's were a reaction to his brother. Ed felt her move away and inwardly sighed. She was very perceptive.

"Brother, can't she stay with us?"

"Oh no! I mean, it's okay Al. I'm sure I can stay somewhere else...ah, I don't think I should. Don't think I'm wanted."

The last bit was said so softly only Ed's ears caught it. He felt really badly and shifted her gently so that she had to lean forward and more on him. Alexa was surprised, but went along with it.

"No, it's late. You should stay with us, I mean, if you want to..."

Ed stared at the ground, feeling very cruel. Her arms had been wrapped around his neck for support and one came up to brush his bangs carefully from his face.

"I'd be very grateful to impose on you two."

He could hear the smile in her voice and he smiled too. Al was relieved and decided to speak to his brother later about how not to treat a nice girl. Ed pushed away all thoughts of romance and focused on getting back. The rest of the trip was completed in silence.

Upon arriving at their room in the military base, Al sat down in a corner with Nyko, stroking his fur very softly. Alexa yawned and Ed plopped her down on the only bed in the room. He opened a closet and removed an extra couple of blankets and folded one into a pillow. He laid them carefully on the ground next to the bed and laid down himself. Alexa immediately protested

"You are the ones letting me spend the night here! At least let me be the one to sleep on the ground!"

Ed shook his head resolutely and after a few minutes, Alexa laid down too, realizing she was not going to win that argument. In less than ten minutes, Alexa was out cold. She had obviously been very tired. Nyko got up and jumped onto the bed where he curled up tightly in the space Alexa's knees left. It was silly to see because Alexa was just as tightly curled as a cat. Al spoke softly.

"Brother."

"Yes Al?"

"Why were you...I mean earlier. When you got...angry? With Alexa...what happened?"

Ed sighed. He'd been wondering the same thing.

"I don't know Al. I guess I thought about...other things and got uncomfortable. Like there is something wrong. I guess I'm just paranoid when things go so nicely."

Ed forced a laugh. He hoped Al would leave it alone. Al caught on to the problem and did so. He knew Ed had been thinking about Winry and everything, but even though it was obvious Winry was in love with Ed, he'd only shown that he had a crush on her. Al knew that from childhood, even though he himself had won the fight to marry Winry, when he'd been rejected, Ed made a vow to someday marry her himself. Al knew Ed was remembering that. Al got confused as he thought more about it. Was it better for Brother to remember his promise and fufill it or to go after the girl he liked more? Al was suddenly glad he was not his brother.

Meanwhile, Ed was following the same train of thought in his head, although he did not remember the vow, but he knew that he'd always planned on it. He knew how much Winry liked him and he did like her a lot, but more and more now he was realizing that he really cared about her as a sister and had just convinced himself to like her as more because he would have felt bad, seeing her so in love with him otherwise. He had just wanted to make her happy.

He wasn't sure what he would do now. In theory, he only saw her when he broke himself, but perhaps Alexa could fix him instead...Or maybe it would hurt Winry more to never see him. He wasn't sure and there was no way of really asking her. Either he'd never see her and she could just dream of him and remember him or she could see him and see him with somebody else. Perhaps he'd ask Alexa, as a hypothetical question tomorrow. Ed drifted off to sleep, slightly more at ease with that plan. Al continued pondering.

Later on in the night, Alexa began having a nightmare. She was remembering:

**"No!!!! Oh God no! Nickel! Nickel!! NICKEL!!!! Oh no! IZZY!!! Oh fuck it all!"**

**She tried to get up and move, but to her horror she had barely a stump where her right leg once was. She managed to crawl over to Nyko. She yanked the yowling cat into another circle she drew with her dripping blood. After spattering some blood on the cat, she clapped and pressed her hands to him.**

**"GIVE ME HER BACK GODDAMNIT! SHE'S MY SISTER!"**

**Izzy moaned nearby. **

**"Hold on Izz, just hold on!"**

**A bright light flashed and Alexa saw the Gate and the Guardian for the second time.**

She rolled over and hit the edge of the bed. Her hand flopped over the side and came down to rest very close to Ed's face on the floor. He rolled over at the same time and instinctively reached out and grabbed her hand, jerking it a little and yanking her from her nightmare. She was sweating and went to wipe her face, only to find that a strong grip was holding her hand. She smiled vaguely and looked up at Al who had watched it with interest. Alexa could imagine the smile on his face. He looked very peaceful for a suit of armor.

"Do you ever get lonely?"

Alexa whispered. Her voice was husky with sleep. Without moving, he replied

"Yes. But it also gives me time to think, something I don't get too much during the day."

"I'm sorry."

Al watched as Alexa's eyelids fluttered closed and she rested her head on the pillow again, dozing off and entwining her fingers through Ed's. She fell asleep smiling.


	2. The Fight

Ed woke up just as the sun was beginning to rise. Al was still sitting in the corner and Alexa had managed to roll mostly off the bed so that her arm was completely draped over Ed. He smiled and sat up, rolling her back onto the bed where she cuddled into her pillow and smooshed her cat. Nyko made an angry noise and she quickly moved over a little. Ed stood up and walked over to where his coat was. Swinging it on, Al looked up.

"Where are you going Brother?"

He asked softly.

"Just out for a walk. I'll be back soon."

Al nodded and went back to watching the sound-asleep Alexa. Ed turned and opened the door. As he was stepping out, Alexa sat bolt upright with both eyes wide open.

"My sisters. My sisters, it's my fault. I shouldn't be the one alive and well right now. Give them back, I swear I'd do anything."

Her eyes were wide with fear and she was speaking very quietly and distinctly. Her pupils were next to nothing in size and after a moment, Ed realized she was having a nightmare. He ran over to her and grabbed her hand.

"Alexa. Look at me. You're dreaming. Alexa!!"

She shivered a few times and blinked. Color returned somewhat to her pale face.

"What...where am I?"

She looked around the room and caught sight of Al, who had remained seated. Then she glanced at Ed's worried face and down at her hand that he was still grasping tightly. He blushed and hurriedly let go.

"Sorry, I didn't know how to wake you up."

She shook her head and smiled weakly at him.

"Leaving so soon?"

"Just going for a walk, that's all."

She nodded and fell back into the bed. Within a moment she was sleeping, this time peacefully. Ed stood and smiled ruefully at her.

"She's an odd one."

"You're one to talk, Brother."

Ed made a face and left to enjoy the sunrise. Fifteen minutes after he'd gone, Alexa sat up again, but she was fully awake now. She rose and began smoothing her unruly hair.

"Sorry about that Al. My dreams are....very vivid."

"It's all right. I'm just glad Brother was able to wake you up."

She turned and smiled at him before heading towards the door herself. Al quickly stood.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

Nyko yawned and stretched hugely before springing down lightly and walking over to twine himself around Alexa's metal leg.

"I was going to go get some practicing in. I'm sure Roy will make us fight today."

Al look surprised.

"So soon?"

Alexa nodded and smiled wryly

"Roy was never one to be patient."

Al knew this to be true himself and he nodded. Alexa turned away from him.

"Make sure Ed meets me in the courtyard by high noon, okay?"

Al nodded again and then realized she couldn't see him.

"Yeah, I will."

Alexa paused, as if she wanted to say something more, then shrugged a little and left. Al stood for a few moments, staring at the closed door, then ran to open it.

"Alexa!"

She and Nyko were nowhere to be seen. It was like they had...vanished.

***************************************

Ed stretched and yawned like a cat. He flexed his fingers and rolled his shoulders in the typical masculine show-off moves. Alexa simply stood and rolled her eyes, albeit discreetly. Roy stood in the middle and a large crowd of militants who wanted a break from paperwork had gathered around to see a fight between the famous Fullmetal and some mysterious girl whose stance and speech reminded them of the Flame Alchemist.

"The rules are simple. Both of you know what's at risk. I will call the match, keep fighting until I do so."

Roy looked hard at both of them.

"I don't want to see any serious wounds."

With that, he turned abruptly and stalked off to stand next to Lieutenant Hawkeye. She raised her gun. Ed and Alexa leaned forward slightly, measuring each other. Hawkeye fired.

Ed immediately clapped and transmuted his arm into a short sword. He was quick and began racing towards Alexa, intending to end the fight quickly before he had time to think. She didn't move. Suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, knives began flying at Ed. His eyes opened wider and he jumped, dodged, and ducked, the endless river of flying knives. Once he'd gotten within arm's length of Alexa, he began slashing.

She'd pulled out more, and longer knives, and held one in her left hand and three smaller ones in the spaces between the fingers of her right hand. She wielded her right hand like a clawed one and her left as a parry to Ed's arm. They were both very fast, Alexa only slightly faster. They came in and backed out, in and out, slashing and parrying the other. Alexa hit Ed more times, but they were small blows, he could hardly even feel them. She managed to hinder his eyesight with some gashes above the eyebrows so that blood dripped into his eyes.

He wiped it away without a second thought. Eventually, he landed a pretty large cut across her ribcage and she sprinted backwards. They both stood, warily regarding each other. Alexa takes off her long coat and throws it behind her. Ed liked the idea, as he was sweating profusely and did the same. Alexa threw him a small grin as he glanced down at the blow he'd just landed. He turned to Mustang.

"Call the ma-!"

Ed had wanted it to stop there. The cut was deeper than he'd intended, much deeper. But just as he'd turned, Alexa dashed forward, covered her left hand in blood and began slashing at him. He quickly responded, but she'd managed to land some blows first. They wove in and out, showing off profound knife skills. Roy was quite impressed with his cousin and Ed was getting very tired, but was afraid to hurt her much more.

Al was observing closely and he was the first to realize how big of trouble his brother was in. Alexa obviously had a plan, one that had involved the deep cut in her side to lure Ed into a state of fearing to hurt her and now she was executing another step, although what that may have been, Al didn't know. He glanced over at Mustang.

Roy had been watching equally as closely, but he understood what Alexa was doing and was frankly surprised at how muddled Ed seemed. The reluctance about further injuring Alexa, he could understand, (Roy also thought it was very tricky and a little heartless of her to take advantage of his obvious crush on her, but he grinned at the thought), but Ed did not seem to understand the nature of her attacks. He blocked and parried fine, but she was still landing enough and the colonel was shocked that no previous enemy had ever tried this kind of tactic on Ed before.

Alexa, was in fact, playing on Ed's weaknesses, of this he was sure. He gritted his teeth and forced himself to begin attacking her back again. But why was she bent on attacking his arm? Sure it was his weapon, but as far as he could see, she was simply prodding, with a lot of force, but mostly just prodding and poking at different parts in his arm. He didn't understand at all. Until of course, it stopped working.

She'd been holding her side with her left hand and stabbing with her right and when she suddenly spun and pressed her blood soaked hand to his forearm. He cringed and waited for her to further attack him, but she didn't. She simply stared at him. He checked to make sure she'd drawn no alchemic circle, but sure enough, there was nothing but a bloody handprint. Al, however, as well as everyone else, has seen that when she spun, she clapped her hands together before pressing Ed's arm. Al wondered at this apparent use of alchemy. When had she seen the Truth?

Ed whirled and used his arm in a mighty slash, intending to hurt her and then end the fight. Surely she'd lost so much blood that she was on the brink of passing out if cutting open her hand last night had made her woozy?

However, she held up her left dagger and stopped him with a resounding clang of metal. And suddenly, Ed's arm no longer functioned. He could not move his arm for the life of him.

"What the hell?"

Alexa stood and smiled for a second before trying to slash at his chest. He sprung backwards, using his good arm to flip around. He smacked his unusable palm and hit the ground, summoning many rocks to go flying at Alexa. He was outraged! And Winry was going to kill him!

She dodged the rocks skillfully, although still getting hit some. As she came in close, he stood quickly and wound up and large roundhouse punch. He was going to fake the punch and then trip her while she ducked. Except his plan didn't quite work.

She did duck the punch and he threw out his human leg to trip her while she, unfortunately, knocked the hilt of her dagger into the side of his automail knee in just the right spot so that it collapsed beneath him. He did succeed in tripping her and she went sprawling. So did he. To land right on top of her. In doing so, he not only knocked the wind out of her, but also accidentally hurt her deep cut to such an extent that she passed out. Ed now only had one arm and one leg and he just barely managed to clamber off of her.

He looked down at himself and saw he was completely covered in blood. In her blood.

"Oh God. Alexa!"

The wind was still knocked out of her so she didn't appear to be breathing. He attempted to lean down and listen, but his balance was precarious and he fell next to her.

"I need more limbs."

He growled. Roy had run over with Hawkeye.

"If you killed my cousin, I'm going to have to kill you."

"She's dead?!?!?!"

Al had followed. His face turned into comical tears and he began shaking Ed violently.

"Brother! What did you do to her??? What did you do?!?!?"

"Calm down Al! I'm sure she'll be okay."

"You're covered in blood Brother!"

"It's not my blood...."

"She's fine, just unconscious."

Riza announced. Roy was still standing and now she stood as well.

"Well in that case, I call the match."

"So I won then huh?"

"Brother, that's not fair. You accidentally fell on her. Otherwise, you're completely out of the fight."

Ed glared at his younger brother.

"You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Don't worry so much. I'm calling it a tie."

Ed switched his glare to Mustang.

"I'm the one whose still conscious here!"

"And you are the one who can't even stand. Al did have a point."

"Mmph."

Al would have grinned. Ed was sulking in a corner as Roy tried to shake Alexa awake.

"Uhhhggg..."

Alexa moaned and struggled to open her eyes. Her vision was a little hazy. Ed was instantly over there, leaning over her.

"Alexa I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Whaaaaa?"

They blinked at each other. Ed sat back (sort of) and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I fell on top on you and everything, I'm surprised you're even awake right now."

"Well you are pretty small Fullmetal. See, there are advantages."

Ed had murder in his eyes as he stared at Roy. Alexa laughed, but Ed could hear the pain in her voice. He immediately turned back to her.

"Are you going to be all right?"

"Yeah, I just need to stop the bleeding."

Roy's eyebrows shot up and instantly he was kneeling and lifting her onto her other side. He reached up and Riza handed him a roll of bandages. Roy turned to Alexa.

"Sorry."

He then proceeded to strip of her top and undershirt, which were both slashed to ribbons, exposing her side. The wound looked pretty nasty and Roy set to bandaging her up. Al and Ed were both blushing very vividly and had turned away. Al walked over to retrieve Alexa and Ed's coats. He draped Alexa's on her and handed the other to his brother.

"You're both going to need to rest and stay in the infirmiry for awhile."

"What about my arm and leg? I'll need to get to my mechanic as soon as possible."

"I can help."

They all looked at Alexa.

"I knew what I was doing and prodded specific joints in you so I'll be able to undo that damage."

Ed smiled, but Alexa warned him weakly.

"I can't completely fix them, but I can do enough so they'll be usable till you can get home."

"Thanks."

Alexa grinned and then her eyelids closed and she fell asleep. Al carried Ed and Roy carried Alexa into a room where they could sleep. A nurse came to attend to Ed's cuts and he allowed himself to be bandaged. He had watched Roy's face as he had carried Alexa and was amazed at the way Roy looked at her. Ed had never imagined the colonel could look so...gentle.

Ed lay down, thinking he should get some sleep like Alexa. The others left and Al sat on the floor, thinking as usual. He figured Alexa could fix him tomorrow and then when they were both able to walk, they'd pay some visits. For one thing, it had occurred to him that perhaps Alexa would be able to sneak him and Al into the Restricted part of the library and it would be a real treat to be able to go through those books for anything interesting.

She, on the other hand, had definitely not seemed eager to go back, but Ed was confident in his persuasive skills. After that, they would definitely need to take the train to Reesembool to get himself fixed. Unless Alexa was able to fix him, then perhaps that particular visit could be avoided. Ed cringed as he thought of all the possible things that could go wrong with him visiting right now. For the first, Alexa would probably come along because there'd be no tactful reason for him to ask her to stay behind. And then there was the problem with Winry....

If it stayed between Winry and him, he might be able to handle it, although not well considering she was like his sister and his best friend and he still had a crush on her. But if Alexa got involved, as she obviously would, well, there was no telling what would happen. If Winry decided that she'd rather never see Ed again, not only would he be losing his sister, best friend, sort of guardian, for both him and Al, he'd be giving up their only home. He truly wanted to avoid that if at all possible.

He looked to the side at Alexa's peacefully sleeping face. In her sleep, she smiled at him.


	3. The Restricted Section

The Restricted Section

Alexa yawned and stretched and tried to roll out of bed. Her muscles screaming and she groaned and lay back down. She managed to open her eyes and the sight of Ed's face so close to hers made her jump.

"Edward!!! I hurt!!! Don't do that."

She finished in a whine and went back to feeling sorry for herself. Ed backed up a little and began stroking her arm before he realized what he was doing. As soon as he did, he jerked his hand back and pushed himself back onto his bed. Only then did Alexa roll over to assess Ed's condition. It wasn't awful.

His metal arm was in a sling and his leg was useless from the knee down. he had been leaning on it against a table that separated his and her beds. Al chilled out in the corner, observing everything and laughing softly at their antics.

"Brother! You scared her."

Al was laughing harder as Ed blushed.

"I was just seeing if she was awake yet. I feel completely lame like this."

He gestured at himself and Alexa tried to nod instinctively, but it gave her a massive headache.

"Oh....my head."

Ed looked worried.

"I'm really sorry about that. I didn't mean to land on you."

She opened an eye at him.

"You're an idiot."

Ed became indignant,

"Hey! I said I was sorry!!"

"It's my fault."

"What?"

"I knocked your leg out from under you. It's my fault you fell on me."

"Yeah, but I still feel bad..."

"Don't."

He looked at her and she smiled at him.

"It's fine really."

Her voice got softer.

"And as soon as I can move properly, I'll fix you, but it'll only be temporary so be nice to yourself. No reckless behavior."

Ed gave a toothy grin.

"When have I ever been reckless?"

***********That Night

This time when Alexa carefully stretched, she only winced a bit. Much better than before. Ed had been getting extremely restless and had comandeered a crutch from a nurse and had been out and about all day and he and Al were finally coming back to the hospital when Alexa awoke.

"Well hello."

"Hey. How're you feeling?"

"Better. Not great. But better. What have you been up to?"

Ed hesitated, but Al jumped in.

"We were doing research on the Restricted Section of the library."

Alexa raised her eyebrows at them and asked in a skeptical voice

"So how did that go?"

Ed shook his head and plopped onto his bed. Al seated himself on the bed next to him.

"We tried asking Lieutenant Hawkeye, but she'd never been in there and Colonel Jerkface was an asshole about it."

Alexa chuckled.

"What did he say?"

Ed put on a bad imitation of the colonel's voice.

"It's too dangerous material for those so...small."

"ahahahahahahaha!"

Ed glared.

"ANYWAY, we tried asking Armstrong, but all he said was that it was only a place that either desperate or evil people spend their time."

"He was warning us away from it, but all he did was make Brother and me more curious."

"You could have asked me."

"Would you have told us any different?"

"No."

Ed sighed hugely.

"But I would have added that you two just barely fall into the desperate category."

Ed perked up somewhat.

"I'm not insulting you, don't get me wrong. But there are things in there that would be very helpful to your cause. Things you need to know."

Ed sat up straighter.

"Things that perhaps I may be able to enlighten you to without making the trip to the library."

Ed slumped.

"We already know all the simple stuff."

"You know the process of making a philosopher's stone?"

"Yes."

The brothers answered in unison.

"And the key ingredient?"

"Yes."

Ed sounded even more put out.

"Were you surprised to learn it?"

Ed looked at her strangely.

"I guess not surprised exactly....something had to make it very rare and hard to make...disappointed more."

"Because you would never kill anyone for your own benefit."

"Right."

Ed looked at her suspiciously.

"Would you?"

Alexa sighed and looked down.

"Not directly."

Ed's eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you know why alchemy works?"

Ed and Al stared at her.

"You understand the process and use equivalent exchange. If you know the properties, it's easy."

Alexa shook her head slowly.

"No. You are scientists. Look at it scientifically. Equivalent exchange. Yes. The equation of starting and ending must be the same. However. To begin the change, a catalyst must be added. To start and sped up the process."

They blinked at her. Neither of them had ever questioned the happening of alchemy. It just was.

"The gate."

"Yeah, we know about it."

"If you see it, the Truth, then you can use your body as a circle and transmute without drawing one."

"Correct. However. Neither of you sacrificed enough to see beyond the Truth."

"What?"

"Al gave up his entire body!"

"That's not important."

They sat back and looked at her.

"When you are willing to give your whole self, soul and body, then you learn what comes after the Truth.

The accident that took my sister's life. I went after her. I went to the Gate and yelled at The World, or whatever you call the being outside, to let me get her. Let me take her place. It told me that I had more to do in life. That I was not finished. I told it that if it meant my sister's life I was finished."

Everything was completely silent except for Alexa's voice, now soft and laden with regret, sorrow, and guilt.

"It told me that if I gave up It would show me the Truth beyond the Truth. I agreed, thinking that as soon as he'd shown me, I would sacrifice myself again for Nickel.

He pulled me not just into the Gate, but through it. There is another world on the opposite side. I was pulled over it, examining it, feeling it. It is like our world, but alchemy cannot work there. At some point in our history, this world turned, it was a major event, but we turned to alchemy. It is our main principle. That world, a copy to ours, split off and went in the direction of science, something that is completely different, but stemming from the same source."

Ed and Al were drinking all of the knowledge in, trying hard to keep up with her.

"Because of their science and everything, they remembered equivalent exchange, but what they forgot, what that world lacks that we have, is the knowledge of the soul. The people here, the alchemists, the reason they can do alchemy is because they are unconsciously in tune with their soul and the souls around them.

In the other world, these kinds of people are called philosophers, but they are far rarer than our alchemists. Sometimes, these philosophers make the mental leap and then they too are able to perform alchemy. When this happens, they often, either by choice or by mistake, end up eventually in our world because anything like magic, anyone who practiced it there, would be severely punished."

"Why?"

Al whispered.

"People hate what they cannot understand. I'm sure you've had experience with that."

Before either of them could speak again, Alexa raced on.

"The reason alchemy works for people who are in tune with the soul is that, the souls of the dead of the other world come here, just as ours go there. Sometimes with a body and mind and have a new life in the other world. Most of the time, they are just spirits. Our minds, philosophers and alchemists, attract the lost souls and they collect around us. They especially do when we draw the symbols. Do you know where those symbols come from?"

They shook their heads.

"Ancient arts. Of calling to the dead. Soul trappers. The power and energy from the souls surrounding us fuel our alchemy. Make it work."

Ed and Al stared, then finally broke the stare. Ed looked devastated and stared at his hands.

"Do people here know that?"

He croaked. Alexa shook her head and he closed his eyes. She put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"You're not killing anyone. You're not hurting anyone. One is all and all is one."

They swiftly turned to her again, shocked.

"It is the flow of life. Souls need a purpose, in life and death. You are simply part of the flow and course of nature."

Ed quickly wiped a tear, forming in the corner of his eye, but turned away so that neither Al nor Alexa could see. He nodded. Al wondered,

"That was all good to know, but why tell us?"

Alexa smiled weakly.

"Don't you see the implications?"

Clearly, they did not.

"The philosopher's stone requires _souls not lives._"

Ed stared, a look of wonder in his amber eyes.

"So there's a way then. A way to make a stone, just using more energy and not by killing people!!!"

Alexa nodded and Ed turned, grinning hugely to Al.

"Al! We can get your body back!"

"But yours first, Brother!"

Alexa was gladdened at the sight. She hoped that perhaps that was enough. Of course, it never is with the Elrics. Ed turned to her, almost hopping in excitement.

"So then when we go in the Restricted Section we have to learn more about the Ancient Arts. We have to be able to call more souls. There must be ways listed to do it in there."

They both looked at her, practically drooling at all the potential knowledge. Alexa had to laugh.

"You look like hyper puppies!"

Ed crossed his arms and looked off to the side and Al giggled at his brother. Then Al looked back at Alexa and asked in a more somber voice

"What happened with your sister then?"

Ed looked at Al like he was crazy and then glanced at Alexa. Her head was down and her bangs hid her face.

"My sister."

Nyko took the opportunity to hop up on the bed and crawl into her lap, turning around a couple of times before settling himself down. Alexa buried her face in Nyko's fur and her reply was a muffled one.

"Nevermind my sister."

They looked at each other and looked down. Al was about to apologize when Alexa brought her face up and looked at them with a smile.

"I have decided that I will sneak you two in tomorrow night. How we're going to sneak Al though...I'm not so sure."

*******The Next Evening

Ed flexed his fingers and rolled his ankle, checking once more to make sure everything worked okay. Alexa was right, even though she was able to get them working again, Ed could feel a difference, only a slight one though. She had earlier explained

"I don't have any fancy tools on me and though I know more than average, I'm no magic mechanic. I can follow directions. I know everything I did and how to undo it, but I got caught up in the fight and landed a couple of more serious blows, especially the one to your leg. They'll work, you can pick up things and run if needs be, but please, don't overdo it."

Ed had shrugged and was just happy she could fix him at all. There'd be no sneaking around the way he was before and he was also delighted for any excuse to delay the inevitable visit to Winry. He inwardly winced again at that upcoming trauma. He just _knew _it wouldn't go well.

He shook his head and brought his thoughts back to the present, where, presently, Alexa was holding a finger to her lips and peering around a corner. She motioned to them and they snuck, crouched as low as possible. Because of the time, the only people about were the standard guards roaming, but they didn't seem to be in this part of the building. For the moment anyway. They came to a bookshelf that looked exactly the same as all the others, but Alexa pulled out a very thick, boring looking, almanac.

She traced a complicated shape on the inside cover and then put her palm over it. It glowed a very dull purple and the bookshelf proceeded to turn into a door. Ed and Al stared. This was probably the strangest transmutation they'd ever seen.

"This is the only removable book. I wasn't making books into a door. The entire thing, shelves, false books, they're all metal and make a very nice door."

Ed was incredulous that he'd never discovered this in all his hours in this library, but it was in a reference section on the history of battles, or something like that. He wasn't one to study war. Al, on the otherhand, was just delighted at the whole thing. Imagine a dancing suit of armor.

"Okay, okay, you make a lot of noise, thank you. Let's go."

Alexa whispered and beckoned them forward. The door pushed open and swung into a pitch black room. Ed walked forward, holding out the candle he had been carrying. His eyes widened greedily at the sight.

The room was mostly filled with manuscripts, or books so old they were falling apart and looked like manuscripts. Alexa pushed the door closed behind them and said, albeit quietly.

"Everything that is about to be published gets run by a secretary of the Fuher. If they decide the material is too dangerous, they keep it from being published and lock it up here. Along with silencing the writer."

They glanced at her and paused in their pawing of the papers.

"It's also research, commissioned by secret branches of the military. The ones we're not supposed to know about."

"Like Laboratory 5, Tucker, and everything."

Ed muttered, going back to the papers in his hand.

"Alexa, why does the military do things like this?"

"Well, Al, look at it as if you were the Fuher."

"Huh?"

"If you were in charge of running a country as large, prosperous, and, well, aggressive, as this one, wouldn't you want to know everything you could?"

"Sure. I guess."

"Of course you would. You'd want to know about the land, the people, the culture, the battlefields, the enemies, the allies, but mostly the people. How they run themselves, who you can trust, who you can't, who you should fear, but most of all, what the people can do.

Not just people working under you or close to you, but the entire population. Of the world. You need to know everything man is capable of. Even the cruel and terrible things. Perhaps those things most of all. And seeing as how testing is the best way to prove something, the government does some very awful things to better understand nature and the ways it shouldn't work."

"You're condoning this?"

Ed's voice froze the room. Al was even a little afraid to hear his brother in such a frosty rage. Alexa, however, stood calm and faced him fully.

"No. I'm not. I'm simply explaining it."

Ed turned and they stared at each other for awhile.

"Seems you know an awful lot about how the higher ups think and why they do things."

His tone was still cold.

"Seems you don't."

Alexa snapped back. He whipped his head around to look her in the eyes again. He noted that, in the darkness, her eyes seemed to glow a very faint green. They were frighteningly beautiful.

"And what do you-"

"Edward Elric. Being a scientist should have taught you something about this. Not equivalent exchange, but something very similar. Balanced. Everything has balance. Good and evil, white and black, dark and light, your opinion and somebody else's. The only way you can fully validate your opinion is to hear the opposing side, and I'm not even giving you the propaganda speech the Fuher himself would surely deliver, and then reassess things. Sometimes, people can show you how right you are. Equally as often, you'll see your mistake, however major or minor."

Ed watched her carefully. Taking her advice, he listened carefully and realized, ironically, that she was quite right. Not about what the government did, but that he should listen more. He shrugged, but never took his eyes off her. She could tell her words were sinking in. Her face softened.

"I'm not criticizing you Ed. I'm trying to help. But for me to do that, and for anyone else to, you've got to listen before you assume. You can't always be right. You can't figure out everything alone. I'm not saying how the government goes about seeking knowledge is the right way, but it is the way they do it and they do have a good reason."

"Good reason or not, they're wrong."

"Brother."

"I mean, they're doing it wrong. Why don't they spend more time in libraries and less time in labs?"

Alexa smiled. Ed ran his hand through his hair and resumed reading. She herself walked around to find interesting looking manuscripts. After the three had looked and found some promising titles, they gathered in a triangle on the floor, each sitting or lying how was most comfortable, with the candle in the center, just barely giving enough light.

Al read up on the traditional way of making the stone, with only 10 to 20 sacrifices needed and then about the Grand Arcanium, needing thousands, an entire city worth. He discarded it to his side. Alexa glanced at it, realized the content, and found it a pity neither of them would ever study war. They'd learn the cause of it for sure.

Al also saw text on how to change yourself into something you're not. It wasn't really a type of soul bonding, but the problem was that too often, the change was not complete and the person involved either died or became a chimera. It was to be performed by having the perfect image of whatever animal you wanted to become, but people often thought you needed feathers to be a bird or a snakeskin to be a reptile and that was how they became human chimeras. Talking ones. Depending on how many animal traits they acquired, they may or may not retain the ability to perform alchemy.

Lead and base metals to gold...not a big deal, Al thought. But then he nearly dropped another manuscript that he saw was written by Dr Marco.

"Brother! I have some of Dr Marco's earlier work. Before he discovered the key ingredient!"

"Anything of use?"

"Um...."

Al's enthusiasm dwindled and then turned to utter horror.

"Brother...the red water, remember it?"

"Sure Al, what about it?"

"Well, this says how to....turn it into a red stone. The ones that all the military had in Ishval."

"And?"

Ed was a little impatient, but then he noticed the distress Al was in.

"Al? What is it?"

"It's crystallized by being implanted into a woman who is with child's stomach and then waiting until the fetus and mother die before removing the stone."

Ed's face lost its color. Alexa looked away.

"It does make sense, after all."

"What?"

Ed was in a state of disbelief. How many innocent mothers and unborn children died so that State Alchemists could go slaughter Ishvalens?

"The red water is purely chemical, not to mention very toxic for humans, to breathe or touch it, by killing the mother and child, you're teaching the chemical properties to absorb life. The red stone then can be easier transmuted with more lives."

Ed was appalled and considered taking it out on her, but he quickly realized that she was again, just giving him information, so he kept his mouth shut and went back to reading. Alexa and Al looked at each other and did the same.

Al read with interest about soul bonding. He'd never been positive how his brother did it and under what conditions would his soul be loosened or broken away entirely.

Ed was also reading some very interesting things, but he only chose to share one. He'd read about transmuting people's minds to be more open to suggestion and by shrinking the logical part, you expanded the imagination. It was how people were made to tell the truth. Also, by giving your own memories over, to be shared, not lost, you could tap into another person's memories. This was called Dreamfesting, though it had naught to do with dreams.

He supposed it would also work with information, but he couldn't imagine himself in a situation where he would be forcibly looking into people's past, as well as able to let them look into his. It was also supposed to be rather painful and could cause amnesia for either person.

He quickly had realized why the government needed to keep all this away from most people. He was not in favor of censorship, but all of this was very dangerous and the knowledge that someone could even attempt this would spread nationwide panic.

He also read up on going to the other side of the Gate, the one Alexa had described. This manuscript could easily have been the oldest one there, Ed was holding the paper so delicately and yet it still tore a little.

It was talking about something he didn't really understand. The language was archaic and difficult to read. Also, some of it was in shorthand and the paper was on the verge of tearing further. He spread the pages out on the ground. Something about a catastrophic event. One that killed a great many people. A city called Xerces, destroyed in one night. He read further about a great power that resulted from it. One thats qualities resembled a philosopher's stone.

Nyko trod across his papers and he shoved him off, muttering curses at the cat who pointedly shoved his tail and behind in the air, puckered his butthole, and marched off to settle into Alexa's lap. Ed shook his head and went back to reading.

Something about 'The Father'. And that he was immortal thanks to this. Also, something about how, much longer ago, another event, one just as great, had occurred and from that event a savior arose, a prophet and a philosopher. Someone who had discovered alchemy for the first time. In the time of crises, he used his limited knowledge to try and forge a simple baton for a weapon and turned a sapling into one.

That was the first record of alchemy. And, interestingly enough, he did not draw a transmutation circle. Ed frowned and looked more carefully. It was actually not until this Father destroyed the city that circles and designs came into being. It explained why, something about the Guardian of the Gate, but he couldn't make it out. He squinted and leaned closer, his nose centimeters from the page.

Deviation from nature.

The statement hit him like a ton of bricks. Before the attempt at the stone, alchemy was a very natural and benevolent force. In the East, even today, it still was. People turned one natural thing into another and only very rarely, using plants and minerals, but always involving plants. And the energy from the plants fueled the alchemy. Ed realized with growing sadness that it wasn't until man began experimenting with other men, animals, and man made objects that souls from across the Gate were needed.

He saw that there were ways of making gateways, ones that bypassed the Guardian, but that most people died in the crossing of man made Gates. Oddly, he saw that people on both sides needed to open the Gate, but he thought that Alexa said that alchemy was extraordinarily uncommon there, nigh impossible.

The other thing he noted, the thing he shared.

"So I guess, every time someone is killed using alchemy they end up in front of the Gate. Everyone goes into it and just disappears I guess, it doesn't say specifically. But the people who are afraid, they try and make bargains, figure out ways to not die. Those people usually come back and are used as additional fuel for our alchemy. However, very few people do this, but if you can either offer the Guardian something It wants or that you already know the existence of the other world, you can go there. And not die."

Alexa knew this already and Al was completely fascinated.

Alexa had taken out a notebook and was scrawling away in it. Ways and symbols to bring the dead back. The idea that if a thousand lives went into bringing one person back, one person could do the reverse. The human transmutations failed, she saw, because of greed. When you want to bring someone back from the dead, it's because you love them and therefore, you want to be with them. So you sacrifice other people, already living or in stone form. However, it is merely as simple as giving yourself. You cannot copy a soul, but the only thing that makes a proper trade for a soul you love, is the soul you love most, yourself.

She noted about bonding souls together. In simple form, the way she did for a very short time with Al, or more permanently, though why you'd do that, she wasn't sure, in the sense that forever you would be talking to a voice in your head of that person and also that they could take over your body and tell it what to do.

There was the third option, of binding someone's soul to a living creature, but that was much harder, because the animal had to either have a very docile personality, or love the person whose soul it was very much to accommodate that person directing their movements. The only successful ones were done in dogs, the most loyal of creatures. Alexa smirked at that statement and Al wondered what had been so funny.

Then she noted the part about just bringing souls. Not from the other side only, but an infinite number, to be used in a powerful transmutation. She wrote all of it down and memorized it. Just when she was picking up the manuscript entitled "The Emerald Tablet and Mutus Liber" they heard people, getting very close. One sounded a lot like a very angry colonel.

"You're telling me they're in where?!"

Ed, Al and Alexa looked at each other for a brief moment. Then they jumped up. Nyko yowled loudly and Alexa scooped him up, getting clawed in the process

"Is that quite needed? Calm down Cat!"

Then she noticed where Ed and Al were headed.

"Not that wall!"

Alexa didn't bother keeping her voice down. How long had they been in here anyway?

Ed walked to the wall she stood by and transmuted a door. They were making it into a wall again, just as the colonel busted open the main door. They ran, their chests heaving, turning many corners, both Ed and Al being quite familiar with Central, until they ended up in front of an inn. They walked in, wincing at how late it was.

A very sleepy man, took their coin, shoved a key in their hand and gestured upstairs. Al thanked him profusely and he just nodded and shuffled off.

After climbing the stairs, the adrenaline faded and Ed and especially Alexa got very tired. Nyko was sleeping in her arms and Alexa cursed the cat for getting a ride when they were making a great escape. She wanted a ride too.

Upon opening the door, they realized a mistake had been made. The room was very small, no one minded that. There was room in the corner for Al to hunker down. No, the problem lay in the center. In the one, smallish but large enough to fit two people, bed. The bed that left very little room around it. Alexa was completely out of it anyway, she didn't care. Ed was already blushing and twiddling his thumbs, but she was too tired.

"Look, I really truly don't care. We'll sleep in this bed. It's one night. Please, please get over it and just get in bed."

Ed stared at her. She pulled off her rucksack, long coat and put them aside. She sat down and pulled off her boots and socks. Then she pulled off her skirt which revealed small shorts underneath, as well as a tank top under her shirt. She piled the discarded clothes and burrowed into the warmth of the blanket.

"Ed."

He was still standing there, but now he very slowly, pulled off his black coat, shirt, and shoes. And pants. He was accustomed to sleeping in his boxers after all. He unbraided his hair, shot a 'help me' glance at Al, who pretended not to notice in his laughter, and then Ed very carefully pulled himself under the covers.

He tried hard to roll over onto his side and he suddenly felt Alexa jump, but then move back and a little closer to him then before.

"You're cold."

She said. He felt bad about his leg and tried to move it, but she proceeded to stay exactly where she was. They both fell asleep quickly.

Al noticed that in their sleep, they both snuggled up to each other and it wasn't a cold night.


	4. The Emerald Tablet

The Emerald Tablet

The sun had barely risen as Ed opened his eyes. He went to stretch and realized he was wrapped around Alexa. They were sleeping on their sides, his arm over her stomach. He blinked as he realized exactly _where _his arm had come to rest. Blushing intensely, he swiftly removed his offensive arm and tried to roll away. Alexa moved a little in her sleep and he realized she was laying on his other arm, which had fallen asleep. He tried in vain to slide it out from underneath her head. He flexed his fingers and regained some feeling.

Suddenly, he looked and felt her small fingers, tracing shapes on the inside of his wrist. That felt...really good. He lay on his back and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. Perhaps he didn't need to wake up quite yet. However, as he lay, metal hand on his stomach and felt his other forearm being very gently stroked, a problem arose. Literally. Yanking his arm out from under her and letting Alexa fall with a thud, Ed raced out of the room, turning a lovely shade of crimson on the way.

"Alexa?"

"G'morning Al."

Alexa's voice was groggy.

"What just?"

"Um, Brother had a uh....He needed to use the restroom."

Al was very abashed on his brother's behalf and could think of no better way to explain the morning problem. Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Ed stood, cursing quietly. This wasn't something he was accustomed to have happen. He knew that some guys had the morning issue, but he'd never been one. _If I'm going to be sleeping next to her, this is going to be a real problem,_ he thought accusingly at his body. _Traitor_

Ed's first instinct, of course, was to go have breakfast and clear his head. However, unfortunately, he remained in his underwear and nothing else. For God's sake, his hair was a mess! So, crossing his arms over his chest and trying desperately to look cool and not in such a compromising situation, he strode casually back into the room. To be confronted with a yawning and stretching Alexa. To his dismay, it seemed she'd completely woken up, even before he'd run out, and Al had probably noticed exactly what happened. However, though Al was giggling in the corner, Alexa seemed not to be so cruel. Ed had appreciated the fact that when she stretched, her shirt stretched very tight across her...._NO! No more! _He decided to turn around and stare straight ahead.

To his intense surprise, he felt her gentle hands grab his metallic one and pull him back to the bed. He felt guilty as he stepped back and sat on the very edge of the bed. He cringed, waiting for her to smack him and call him a pig. It was quite the opposite. He felt her toes touch his back as she scooted up and sat criss-crossed. She took his hair and began to braid it, very gently. He blushed again and looked down at his lap. When she'd finished and tied it off, she pulled on his shoulder to get him to turn around. He did so very slowly. However, as he did so, he saw that she was not going to lecture him in the slightest. He dropped his arms finally and she spoke.

"Um..."

_Here it comes._

"Ed, I'm really sorry."

"Huh?"

"Well you see, I..."

She trailed off and poked her fingers together, looked ashamed.

"I sort of stole a manuscript from the library."

"What?"

Al had been prepared to stay out of a conversation in which his brother's masculinity was being reprimanded, but this was something else entirely.

"Well, we were reading and I'd just gotten to it and it actually looked really promising and then we were found out so suddenly, I just sort of put it in my knapsack and-"

"Stole it?"

Ed's voice was soft.

"Hey! I'm trying to help the cause here! And I said I was sorry."

"That's no excuse for stealing!"

"C'mon Al! Cut me some slack here."

"Alexa, that wasn't very smart."

Alexa looked at Ed again.

"Chances are, someone catalogs those things, maybe Sheska, and no doubt if the colonel hasn't already noticed something missing, he will soon. We've got to get it back."

"Well let me read it first."

"No."

Alexa was surprised by the intensity.

"We need to put it back."

Alexa sighed. She hadn't wanted to bring it up, but...

"You owe me a look at least."

Ed's head jerked up and he blinked at her stupidly before realizing simultaneously what she was implying and that she was referring to the manuscript. He turned red.

"That has nothing to do with it!"

Alexa giggled, but not meanly. She poked him in the belly and laughed again. Ed thought it was the cutest thing he'd ever seen. Al thought that his brother had found a mighty soft spot for this girl. But that was okay, Al liked her a lot too. However, if she could persuade Brother that stealing was okay with a wink, a poke, and a cute smile, what else could she convince him to do?

Ed grabbed her finger the third time she tried to poke him. He held onto her hand, softly though.

"We'll read it together, okay? And we're putting it back. Tonight."

His tone was serious, but not annoyed. Alexa rolled her eyes hugely.

"Yes Mr. Fullmetal Sir."

"Hey! I don't deserve that!"

"What are you talking about Sir? I'm just addressing you properly Sir."

Ed tackled her and tickled her until she was crying with laughter and begging him to stop. Al was laughing along with them, but he felt very lonely. In fact, he felt like such a third wheel that he resented Alexa a little, for taking Brother away from him. He immediately felt ashamed for the selfish thought and got very depressed. Ed noticed.

"Hey Al. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking."

Alexa got up and quickly dressed, throwing Ed's clothes at him. She retrieved the manuscript from her rucksack and sat down in front of Al. Ed was busy putting on his clothes and boots. She looked up sympathetically at Al.

"Sorry."

She murmured. Al was about to ask what for, but he saw her eyes dart at Ed who was coming to sit as well. Al felt guilty again at his resentment towards Alexa and was sure she could feel his silent apology. He was very glad she was so kind.

She gently flipped open the manuscript. The print was small and the script so light it was barely readable. The three leaned forward and somehow managed not to bump heads. She kept flipping through until she came to a passage that she skimmed and quickly summarized.

"So the Emerald Tablet is a stone...and each of its facets have a line engraved in it...it tells how to reach happiness, knowledge, freedom, power, or all four at once depending on the order in which you read the lines...The combination of all four results in a Philosopher's stone...In a way that many lives are not sacrificed."

Ed and Al looked up at each other in wonder. A third way to make a Philosopher's Stone? And a harmless one at that? Simply incredible. They paid attention as Alexa began speaking again.

"Even though the Emerald Tablet is the key on how to create the Philosopher's stone, it only describes the process, and doesn't name the ingredients...But there is an accompanying book that does...In the span of 15 illustrations that are heavily encoded...only a true philosopher could understand them...known as the silent book, Mutus Liber, because it has no words...if properly decoded and used in conjunction with the Emerald Tablet then it works...."

Al excitedly interrupted.

"So all we have to do is find a copy of this book right? And it'll probably also have a clue where the Emerald Tablet is hidden! I bet Central Library, or the Restricted Section have Mutus Liber?"

Al ended his statement, slowing down and ending on a question pitch because Alexa was already shaking her head.

"This manuscript is already very old and it says that Mutus Liber was not being reproduced anymore and few copies remain. That means that by now there is probably one or two copies and I'd bet my purse that the pages are not together or whole at that matter. Based on how confusing these copies are supposed to be, if we only find fragmented pieces, well..."

"In any case, we should begin in the library. That's where we'd find any suitable information and that's where this belongs."

Ed gestured at the gingerly held manuscript in Alexa's lap.

"Well, I'll keep browsing through this for any more useful information, because I have no idea where to look for an emerald. We'll have to just try a lot of libraries to find Mutus Liber."

"If we can find these things, it'll be a miracle..."

Al trailed off in wonder at everything.

Ed smiled sadly at his brother's far away gaze. Ed was not so innocent and by all rights Al shouldn't have been either, but he was glad his brother still saw the beauty of the world. His gaze darkened as it fell on the broken manuscript. He wanted to hope. That this emerald existed. That they could find this Mutus Liber, and yet somehow....he had a lot of trouble believing that a way could exist to bring back their bodies without taking mass amounts of lives.

_There was no way. It wasn't in accordance to equivalent exchange at all. Either the emerald had to be a philosopher's stone that was already made and just needed to be harnassed or, the stone had a different power source. Ed nearly raised his eyebrows at his own idea. What if the stone had some other power source? One as powerful as human life? But what on earth could that be? Certainly not animal souls,_ he hoped. Al would never go for that and Ed wasn't sure he could stomach that idea either.

Alexa started reading aloud and both Ed and Al were awakened from their reveries.

"The emerald, being in itself a potentially dangerous and infinitely powerful object, was hidden long ago by those who made it. The gods who once walked our earth, hid their precious gem in the heart of one of their own cities.

The emerald can only be found by the desolate and the desperate. One must give everything to use its power, the ancient power of the gods who, being desperate themselves, locked themselves away inside it, behind the Gate of Light."

Ed and Al looked at each other, trying to make sense of all this information.

"The gods worshipped a superior god, the One who was all powerful, all knowing, and all loving. To Him, they built churches everywhere they conquered in His name, killing entire cities, making them vanish in a night."

Ed dimly remembered hearing an old story, from his childhood, one that Hohenheim told him, about a city called Xerxes that was destroyed in a night. His eyes widened.

"In one such church, the Temple, they buried the emerald deep beneath its holy grounds. The Temple lies in the heart of a lost city, an ancient city, a ruined city, a city of gold, of temptation. A city of evil."

Those words sent a rippling shudder through the three and Ed jumped up. He began pacing. He waited until he was sure Alexa was done speaking before he began.

"This is ridiculous! An evil city?! Gods who walked the earth?! Only worshipping one god of many? What is this nonsense?"

"Brother, maybe we should do more research before calling it ludicrous. There was some truth to it."

"Like what?"

"Xerxes was destroyed in a night."

Alexa said it quietly. Al looked at her as he continued.

"There was a church, I saw it in our travels, that was dedicated to one god, and I asked about it later. There was a race of people who did alchemy, but a very strange and evil form of it. They waged war on every other race who did not believe similarly because of their intolerance. Maybe they were collecting power. To make a philosopher's stone."

"If they were doing it that way, then why did they need the emerald?"

"Perhaps the emerald is the product of their work."

"A philosopher's stone?"

"Apparently a heavily guarded one if you have to give everything just to get it."

That made the most sense out of everything Ed had heard of it. He had supposed it himself, after all.

"There's more."

They looked at her in unison.

"It's a warning. That the emerald on its own will not accomplish the greatest of goals. Also, they weren't making a philosopher's stone."

"Then what-?"

"Patience Ed."

She smiled at him and he blushed as he plopped down on the floor again.

"They were collecting souls, it's true, but for a higher purpose. One of their people said he would lead them to glory, that he was the son of their ultimate God. So they were questing to bring him souls of the unfaithful and non-believers. Apparently, he said that the more they did that, he would banish the souls to Hell and the followers would have a place secured for them in Heaven."

The Elric brothers looked confused.

"I don't know what those are, but I guess Heaven is good and Hell is bad. It's where you go after you die."

Ed snorted at the lame ideas this ancient race had.

"How do you know that son wasn't secretly making a stone and just giving false reasons to his people?"

Alexa shook her head slowly.

"He wanted to become his God. His Father."

"But thats what the philosopher's stone does! It gives you gold and eternal life."

"He wanted to be all powerful and all knowing too. It would have to be a more perfect form of the philosopher's stone. So powerful, it was divine. So powerful, it embodied all the power of the Guardian of the Gate."

Ed's eyes got very large indeed. He remembered the Guardian. He remembered the raw power he could sense in the entire place all coming from Him. He shuddered.

"But if they were making something that powerful then why are they extinct? Why can't the emerald perform the greatest goal? And what is the greatest goal?"

"I don't know Al. Obviously, they failed somehow. They failed on such a great scale that it wiped them out completely. A failed transmutation, I'd guess."

"Maybe they didn't fail. Maybe he succeeded and became a new Guardian."

"Always a possibility. But it says he loved his people very much and I can't imagine someone like that would sacrifice them all."

"People do a lot of unthinkable things."

Ed spoke bitterly. Alexa looked at him sadly.

"I believe that they failed though and that's why Mutus Liber was written, perhaps by that same race, to refine and perfect the emerald. Perhaps they gathered too many souls and were not capable of using the extreme power."

Ed nodded absently. Alexa looked down at her hands, folded neatly in her lap. She undid her entwined fingers and, trembling, lifted her hand slightly. She frowned and the trembling stopped. She moved her hand, very slowly, to where Ed's right hand lay, on his knee. Just as she reached his knee, Ed suddenly lifted his arm to run his fingers through his hair in frustration. Alexa jerked her hand back, hurt. Al sat quietly and when Ed saw Al's demeanor and how quickly Alexa had moved her hand, he took a guess at what he hadn't observed.

"We should return the manuscript to the library soon. I can go during the day time; I'm very apt at sneaking in places."

She stood abruptly and turned to go.

"Wait."

Ed reached up, on impulse, and grabbed her trailing hand. He held it for a moment longer than he needed to and she stopped in her tracks. They both looked at their hands and then Ed gently and slowly let go.

"Let me come with you."

Alexa started shaking her head.

"I don't think it would be wise or needed to have two-"

"Let me come with you?"

She looked at his eyes. She had to look away first.

"Yeah okay."

Al murmured,

"I can be in the main library looking for any texts that might help us."

Alexa smiled brightly at him.

"Good idea!"

Al was pleased at the compliment. Alexa turned her gaze slyly to Ed, who gulped at the foxy stare.

"And, of course, seeing as how you're so small, I'm sure no one would ever notice you sneaking in with me..."

Ed's hair flared up and he stood on his tiptoes so he could be looking down at Alexa.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT NOBODY WOULD EVER NOTICE HIM ANYWHERE?"

Al was impressed.

"Hey! Brother! That's the first time you ever got the insult right."

Ed rounded on his little, er, larger brother and attempted to beat him up. All that happened was a lot of clanging and laughing.

*************Later

Alexa and Ed looked around one more time before lighting the lamp. The Restricted Section was deserted, like always. Ed wondered vaguely why the section existed if the only people who made use of it were sneaks.

Alexa was looting around through the manuscripts, trying to figure out what kind of order they were in, if any, and where to place her manuscript.

"Hey...Alexa?"

"Hmmm?"

Ed was pointing to a place on a random shelf that looked familiar to Alexa. She came over and browsed the manuscripts around and decided this was as good a place as any for it. She had to wonder though.

"Why here?"

"I dunno. Something just seemed...missing."

Alexa shrugged and finished putting away the manuscript. Just as she'd started to turn, Ed leaned in closer and raised the lamp. Initially, she wondered at his intentions, but then saw that he was staring intently at the bookshelf and she blushed lightly.

"What?"

He reached in and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Unlike most of the paper in this room, this was obviously new. As he unfolded it, smudges were visible that showed the paper was folded before the ink had dried and it was still a little wet.

"Someone must have put this here maybe five minutes before we got here."

Alexa said, wonderingly. They both craned their necks to read it properly.

_**Go to the Moose's Jaw. You'll find some answers there. The oldest are the wisest and the most foolish**_.

Ed and Alexa stared at the note, puzzled. They quickly folded the note and snuck back out to the main library where they signaled Al and they left. After getting some distance, they revealed the note to Al, who agreed that it made no sense.

"Brother, we could ask someone about it. Maybe it's a famous store?"

"Or a town?"

"Something like that...Excuse me!"

Ed flagged down a young man's attention.

"'Scuse me, do you happen to know where the Moose's Jaw is?"

The man shook his head, flabbergasted, and walked away. After several more tries, they discovered it was a pub in a small town outside of central. Perhaps a day's walk, the lady had said. So, after having a substantial meal, and then bringing more food with them, (Al couldn't believe how much food his brother could eat. Where did he put it all?), they began walking. The skies were clear, the sun was shining, and it was a pleasantly warm day.

"So, Ed. Tell me about your home?"


	5. The Long Road

The Long Road

Ed hesitated, his shoulders instinctively coming up, to shield him from the past perhaps. He got a far away look in his sorrowful eyes and Alexa looked away, feeling it was too private of a moment for her to watch.

"I'm sorry, I know it's been hard. You don't have to say."

"It's okay, Brother just gets very caught up. Maybe I should begin?"

Ed nodded absently, staring intently at nothing while his eyes were in the past.

"Well, when we were very very young, our father left for unknown reasons-"

Ed cut him off.

"Bastard!"

Al looked at him sympathetically and Ed hushed.

"And when we weren't too much older, our mother died. We had been studying alchemy, our father was a great alchemist and had an extensive library in the house."

"Bastard!"

"Brother was always better at it than me, but I did what I could and I enjoyed the learning and helping him. After Mom died, we went searching for a teacher to help us better comprehend the alchemic world. We found a woman named Izumi who became Teacher. She's a scary woman."

Ed and Al shuddered simultaneously and Alexa smiled to herself.

"Anyways...well we studied with her for a long while, until we felt strong enough to attempt our secret. Our sin."

Alexa looked down in respect, thinking that part would be skipped over. However, Ed stated

"We tried to bring Mom back. We just wanted to see her smile again. To hold her again and...well. I lost Al his entire body and my leg. To try and partly right it, I sacrificed my arm to bind Al into the suit you see here. As for Mom...well....we had created something. But it was definitely not human."

Alexa nodded and then, before either Elric could continue on, she queried.

"What did you sacrifice as 'soul'?"

They stared at her.

"Like ingredients for the human body, but what did you use to compensate for her soul?"

"Not enough."

"Our own blood."

They spoke at the same time and looked at each other sadly.

"It was a good idea though."

Everyone was silent for a moment. Nyko meowed and Al picked him up, stroking him gently.

"After that, I had automail attached and went to become a dog of the military. To gain access to funding and research. To try and get our bodies back. We've been searching ever since.

Along the way, I've been the cause, inadvertintly of many people's deaths and it's so hard-"

Ed cut himself off, clenching both fists until his knuckles were white. Alexa gently cupped his larger hand in hers.

"I know how you feel."

"What about you?"

Al startled Alexa into dropping Ed's hand.

"Me? And my story? Well, that's something different altogether. Same experiences, different circumstances. Slightly different outcomes."

The Elrics looked at her curiously and she figured a story for a story seemed fair. There were many things they'd left out, so she couldn't feel guilty for leaving out a few major details.

"Let me begin from the beginning:

My parents were curious people. Young, in love, and happy to be content. But curious nonetheless. So, they managed to embark on the worst possible expedition for people such as themselves. They sought the philosopher's stone. Not for any greedy purpose, as you might suppose, but my father was a doctor and he wanted to be able to enhance his healing powers to help as many people as he possibly could. And my mother wanted to make my father happy.

However, the happy couple soon realized the sheer extent of lives required for a philosopher's stone and, in his desperation, my father began bending the rules. He began trying to use other ingredients besides human life. He tried animals, blood, corpses, you name it, he tried it. One time though, he went too far and managed to get himself killed in the process.

My mother was devastated. She near about lost her mind. Before my father had died, my mother became pregnant, though neither knew, and the experimenting was hard on her. After my father died, she went crazy trying because now she had a stronger purpose. She was going to bring my father back to life. Discarding care for other humans, including the fetuses inside of her, she began ruthlessly experimenting on herself and others. In doing so, my mother finally completed her task. She completed a pure philosopher's stone.

One way for someone to refine the stone is to insert it into a pregnant woman's uterus. It always kills the baby and sometimes the mother. My mother was unusually lucky. It only killed one of the four children she was pregnant with, a brother I would have had. And though she was weak, she was alive. She vowed never to tell my father about the one dead child.

So she brought him back. Just like that. In fact, he was reborn the day my two sisters and I were born. Or the day before. I'm not sure. But in any case, he was delighted to be alive and to be with his beloved wife and children. He went around, using the stone to relieve all the illness he encountered and for 3 years we were happy."

Alexa interrupted herself.

"Of course, I don't really remember that at all.

But one day, my father became curious about the completed stone. Before, my mother was always look away and say her strength and love for him made it, or a miracle from God, but for once, my father couldn't take such an evasive answer. He became angry and yelled and my mother broke down in her guilt, confessing the death of one of their children. He went away for awhile and my mother nearabout died in grief and anguish. But he came back. He could never really leave us."

Ed snorted and looked down. Al looked away. Alexa continued.

"Well, Mother became obsessed with trying to destroy the stone to make my father happy again. During one attempt, and I remember this, I'm not sure what she did, but she managed to shatter it. I walked in during her experiment and, in opening my mouth to cry out, swallowed a sizeable chunk of the stone."

Alexa flexed her fingers.

"The stone became embedded in my body, a part of me. Which has subsequently given me special powers to bend the rules of alchemy. Not break them, mind you. But my blood is very potent in equivalent exchange.

Not too long after that incident, neither of my parents could handle their respective guilts and, in one final attempt to completely rid the world of the stone they had created with my brother's life, they died. They gave their lives so they could take the stone to the next world with them.

They had arranged a place for us, my cousin Roy's family agreed to take my sisters and I in, and when they thought their five year old triplets had been safely taken care of, they built a giant pyre. I ran around back, wanting to ask Mother something, I don't remember what. Oh."

Alexa had the saddest smile on her face.

"I wanted to ask where they were going. They had given us kids prolonged goodbyes, taking a good week to set up arrangements. They had been saying goodbye to each other too, but I didn't know that then. They had said they were going on a very long journey and didn't know when we would be able to see them again.

So I ran around back to ask and saw them, a giant pyre lit on fire behind them, looming. They were holding each other in a passionate embrace and kissing. Then, holding hands and holding the stone between their hands they jumped in. I screamed then and even though they kept their eyes on each other and their love, I think my mother heard me because she just barely had time to glance back at me. But my father pulled her closer and I saw a tear steam off her face as they bathed in flames."

Ed and Al were staring at her in horror and shock. Alexa had been speaking in a quiet monotone the entire time.

"I remember the sight very clearly."

For a moment, her eyes were just as lost as Ed's a moment ago. She shook her head and her bangs hung low over her face.

"I went to live with Roy and his kind family and all the while, we learned the art that prompted our parents' suicide. We were good, except for Nichole. She tried though, but she was always much more interested in automail. She became a good mechanic later on. When we were about twelve, we were moved to my estranged uncle, Evan's house. He was an automechanic and he and Nichole became fast friends. He was good to us, a very good caretaker. He had been badly injured in the Ishbalan war though and as the years stretched on, he could do less and less.

Less than two years ago, he died of infection. There was nothing any doctor could do. We mourned heavily, especially kind Nichole."

Nyko took the opportunity to jump from Al's arms to nuzzle against Alexa's legs. She sighed and looked down.

"So we perfected our skill and tried our hand at human transmutation. We worked hard to achieve some sort of idea of what to use as a soul. We came to the conclusion that we must sacrifice a human to bring back a human. So we stole a sick and dying old man."

Ed and Al listened in utter horror.

"And we...sacrificed him. Along with all the necessary ingredients. However, we, for some reason, did not create a homunculous. Don't get me wrong."

She looked Ed dead in the face.

"The man was a friend of mine. He _wanted _to die. He asked to be used. So, I think that our sin of trying a taboo was compensated by relieving him of his intense pain. Which was a sort of salvation too, in its own way. It was still costly though. Nickel was taken completely. Izzy lost many vital organs."

"And you lost your leg."

Al was quiet, but it still startled Alexa. She looked away.

"Uh...yeah."

Ed coughed and looked around. Their surroundings had changed dramatically in a few minutes. Though, he supposed, they had been talking awhile. They had passed the outskirts of Central, and had found themselves in a strange mixture of rustic buildings and grassy plains. The grass was tall, scraping Alexa and Ed's knees, much to their dismay. So they struggled through and proceeded to ask

"'Scuse me Miss! Do you happen to know where the Moose's Jaw is?"

The maiden's eyes widened. She nearly began to shake her pretty head when she looked thoughtful. She pointed, looked down, and hurried away.

"I wonder what that was about...?"

Ed muttered, scratching his head. They walked in the direction she had pointed and sure enough, there was an old, ramshackle building with a swinging sign hanging halfway from it's rusted railing out in front with a skull of a moose and the jaw opened and in an almost speech bubble it read: The Moose's Jaw

"Well, I guess this is the place..."

Al trailed off looking around, doubting the significance of such a place. Alexa spied the old man sitting outside on a wooden chair that probably would have broken had a full grown person sat on it. As he was, the man looked positively ancient, wasted away, as skeletal as the moose on the sign and probably older than the entire building.

Ed ran up to him.

"Hey! This may sound a little odd, but do you know anything about the Emerald Tablet?"

The old man sat up in alarm, more quickly than the three would have thought he could move. He beckoned them in closer and wheezed quietly at them. His breath smelled of old books and his voice sounded like the turning of pages.

"Perhaps I might. Why do you seek it young Sir?"

Ed almost bristled until he realized that everyone would be considered young next to this guy. Instead he waved his hand.

"If you know what it is, I think there is a main purpose you can guess."

The old man sat back heavily in his chair.

"You should give up this quest and now young sir, before it lands you into trouble. Those who seek such things only find destruction, horror, and death."

"We have suffered already Sir."

Ed pulled up his pant leg and rolled back his sleeve. Alexa showed her leg as well. At Ed's prompting, Al took off his helmet and showed his lack of a body. The old man never so much as even blinked at the oddities.

"Undoubtedly, you have seen others like us before."

"Yes. Unfortunately, I have. But you are all so young! I suppose the young can be the most determined...and the most desperate."

They nodded in unison.

"In any case, I doubt that even your suffering has prepared you for this task you seek. In the first place, I highly doubt you'd even be able to find the tablet."

"Why is that, old man?"

Ed was getting frustrated. Alexa put a calming hand on his shoulder and he blushed and looked away. The old man smiled slightly.

"Patience is a virtue, my hasty friend. Anyway, the city of evil, the ancients built, where the Emerald still lies, is not in this world."

Ed looked about to interrupt, but the man held up a trembling, frail hand.

"All will be revealed soon. I have no problem in sharing information. It's what I am here for."

He paused and gazed at the sky a moment before continuing.

" I assume you already know about the world beyond the Gate?"

They nodded.

"There didn't used to be a Gate. Originally, that world and our world were one and the same. Furthermore, when the Gate was created, the lost city, of the Gods, was thought to be too tempting for either new world. So it is not through the Gate. It is behind it.

The city is called Eden and if you already know it's there, you can try to bribe the Guardian into letting you go there. However, it is a dangerous place. If you fall to temptation, you will immediately be sent to the world beyond the Gate without a way to return here. Also, the Temple which you seek was destroyed long ago by the Guardian, who feared anyone else gaining so much power."

They all looked down, incredibly disappointed. The old man hesitated and then spoke again, his tone different.

"However...it is said that the Guardian never recovered the Emerald Tablet because though he was desperate, he was not desolate."

Renewed hope shone in their eyes.

"Now don't think your task is easy! To get there at all, you must cross an unimaginable lie that is also the truth and even if you can get there, the Liar himself will never let you pass without a sufficient offering and what can you hope to offer someone who is all-powerful and all-knowing?"

They looked at each other, confused.

"But then, if it's so hopeless, why are you still telling us all this?"

The old man smiled.

"It is what I am here for. To tell."

"Well then, can you tell us what kind of offering to give this all-mighty being?"

The old man looked grim.

"You must give everything if you ever hope to achieve anything. Equivalent exchange. Yes, you must give up everything,... but perhaps not all at once, if you're lucky."

They looked at each other again, each with different degrees of hope or hopelessness on their faces. The old man reached into a deep pocket.

"Please, if you ever are unlucky enough to succeed and meet the Liar, please give him this."

He handed Alexa a thin golden chain, as frail as the man who had borne it for so long. On it hung a small golden cross. Alexa frowned at it. It looked familiar, like an illustration she'd seen somewhere, not too long ago perhaps...

"Old man, I have another question."

"Oh?"

"How do you know all this? Who are you? Where are you from? Have you been to Eden yourself? Or even to the world beyond the Gate?"

The old man held his hand up to stop the river of questions.

"Because I was there, you may call me Cain, my mother's womb, yes and no."

It took Ed a second to match all his questions to the answers, this old man, Cain, had given.

"You were there?!?!?! You couldn't have been! No one survived from that ancient race! And how could you get here? And why would you be spending your time in front of a crumbling bar?"

Cain held his hand up once more.

"I'll say one last thing. You youngsters have tired me out. But know this! You should never trust anyone who lives so long."

When it became apparent the old Cain would say no more, the trudged inside where Alexa and Ed proceeded to get some food and drink and begin discussing and going over everything they had just learned. Alexa began scribbling it all down in her notebook so it could not be forgotten.

"I'll be in in a second!"

Al stepped outside again, to ask if the old man wanted any refreshments or even anything to pay him back for all he had told.

"Oh how the angels have fallen."

Al looked up, startled to see the old man standing. He didn't have a cane, and his back was not feeble and bent, his legs were straight and he was a proud looking man. Probably a good looking man in his youth, however long ago that was. Al began to wonder if the old man had a philosopher's stone himself.

"You began it and I followed in your footsteps. I am sorry, but I am so far beyond forgiveness. This truly is Hell."

Cain sat down heavily with an enormous sigh that couldn't even begin to sum up his hardships and the years he'd endured. Al thought better of it. Perhaps this man was only telling because it was in equivalent exchange for something else, his sins perhaps, if he had lied so many times and now he was condemned to tell the truth. Al could never have guessed Cain's true story or why he sat there or even why, later that day when the manager came out to tell the old man that it was time to leave for the day, the manager would find the man gone, a sight he had never seen in his entire life.

Or how, the manager and the folks at the bar would notice his absence and wonder slightly about the disappearance, but that after a day, everyone would have forgotten him.

But for the time, Al shook his head and headed back into the bar. Just in time to duck a man being thrown at a wall.

"BROTHER!!!!"

Edward Elric was throwing and decking people in a rage, most likely brought on by some 'short' comment. Al looked in dismay to Alexa, who sat in a booth in the corner, laughing so hard her sides hurt. Ed paused in his rampage at his brother's voice. Unfortunately, as Ed stopped abruptly, a man proceeded to come in and kick Ed's metal knee at a very strange angle. In fact, the angle was so strange that it broke the knee completely. Ed went down and all the men began snickering. Now Alexa chose to involve herself.

"Hey! Shut up!"

She promptly hauled Ed up till he was leaning on her shoulder. He was humiliated though and didn't want her help. He got angry and tried to shove her away.

"Aww, the poor little boy needs help from his big strong girl!"

That irked Ed and Alexa and they glared equally as ferociously. Alexa picked up Ed and tossed him to a surprised Al who just barely managed to catch him. They both stared in wonder as Alexa slammed a punch into the giant mountain of a man who had poked fun. She was fuming as he went down.

"ANYONE ELSE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??"

The men all cowered and scattered to their respective seats.

"No ma'am!"

Alexa turned to the Elrics.

"Time for Reseembool huh?"

"Yes ma'am!"

Alexa rolled her eyes.

"You can't fix me?"

She shook her head.

"Not this time Ed."

Ed started sweating and getting very paranoid. Winry was going to kill him and maybe Alexa. _This was going to be bad...._

Alexa stalked out of the bar, the shocked Elrics followed. None of them noticed Cain's disappearance.


End file.
